Me: Humans are horrible creatures.
Me: Except band members they are perfect.
couturierer: if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
kanyewesticle: it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning
longlivesherlock: whorville: whorville: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
anacondom: bueno: things i haven’t learned in high school how to pay bills how to buy a house how to buy a car how to apply for loans for college but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function i can’t even do that right
me: i'm just going to rest my eyes for 5 minutes.
me: wakes up march 27th, 2098.
undesired-pageblood: emotionalfossil: bubonickitten: 0ptimuspenguin: ambieheartsturtlep0rn: capitolresident: Let’s play a game called ‘Stay up late and hate myself in the morning’ ‘on a school night’ edition with unlockable bonus round ‘finals week’ expansion pack: ‘don’t do anything productive’ DLC: ‘Client Projects Edt’ Survival Mode: Parents ON
❁◕ ‿ ◕❁ i am so fucking disgusting ❁◕ ‿ ◕❁
zeuspiss: im sorry… … i got some bad news… … . drinking tea doesn’t make you anymore intelligent or cultural. i know. take your time.
emilioestevez: story time so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
beerito: we might not have talked before but I’m in love with you
kirbyrightbackatya: do you ever see someone with the same name as you and your immediate reaction is just